scrotumnose on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/scrotumnose/art/silaw-37245328scrotumnose

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silaw

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please full view this, it'd make me happy. :)

and before you non-filipinos ask, the word silaw can roughly be translated into a temporary state of blindness or near-blindness, usually cause by a very bright light.

well, folks, i finally got off my ass and made something.

the move has put a lot on my mind.. it's taking up the space that would usually be reserved for more artsy things. leaving behind everything that has given meaning to me and the like, it's put me in a rather emo mood. i've often found myself smoking on patios after midnight, because of all of the separation anxiety i've been feeling.. yeah, yeah, i know, it's so damn pretentious, but it leaves me with quiet time.. a time for me to really reflect on where my life's taken me.

a lot of dramatic shit, i know, but right now, i feel like i'm chock-full of it.

and yeah, i decided to try and get myself out of this funk that i'm in and use all of the emo goodness in my system to make art. everything that i'm feeling now, it's pretty much summed up in this picture. a person with a goal in mind can sort of be likened to a person heading towards a bright light. but, and people only realize this when they're reaching their destination, the closer you get to the light, the more pronounced and scary your shadow is when you look back. as you reach your goal, your shining light, you look back and realize that you've just enveloped yourself in darkness. in anxiety? in i dunno, despair? fear? whatever your particular demons are. and more often than not, it makes you stop just short of the goal, and question whether or not getting your own little ball of light is worth enveloping everything else around you, everything that you once held dear, in darkness. in disuse, in the back seat.

it leaves you wondering whether or not it's worth it. whether or not your cause really is substantial, or even worse, whether or not you still value the cause, after such a long and arduous journey.

this guy (although he looks nothing like me) is me looking back. maybe i could have portrayed it better, but i like it. it's honest, anyhow. probably one of the most honest things i've submitted.

thanks for looking at this, and thanks for reading this far, if you didn't die from the drama-factor.
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maclufetz's avatar
Are you by any chance a filipino? Nakakasilaw din kasi ang astig mo eh! :headbang: